


Relationship Assistance Device

by Ack_Emma



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: 1970s, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley's Moustache (Good Omens), Established Relationship, F/M, Facial Hair, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Groping, Kissing, Male-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), Rated mature for sexual subject matter, Tony (1970s Crowley)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25491862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ack_Emma/pseuds/Ack_Emma
Summary: Fashion AND function.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 20
Collections: Stayin' Julive - The Tony Month Collection





	1. Chapter 1

Aziraphale set her suitcase by the bookshop door with a sigh and gave her fitted, cream mini-dress a tug.

She was off on extended assignment, one so important and encompassing that Gabriel would be with her most days. That meant no frivolous miracles and certainly no clandestine meetings with a certain demonic lover.

She and Crowley were accustomed to being apart for long stretches, of course, but as the world modernized and the pace of life quickened it felt harder and harder to be separated for any length of time.

Well, she thought. There was nothing for it. Crowley would be here soon to say goodbye and then Aziraphale would be jetting off for Heaven knows how long.

The bell over the shop door tinkled and Crowley gyrated in, practically hips first. 

"Hullo, Angel," he offered solemnly.

Aziraphale burst out laughing. "Crowley, what _is_ that?"

"You don't like it?" Quickly following Crowley's anxious tone was a teasing curve in his smile.

Aziraphale had gotten used to Crowley's floppy, unkempt mane and the revealing drape of his polyester outfits. Wide-collared shirts unbuttoned indecently low were, she privately thought, a gift of the era for anyone quite in love with Crowley and his chest hair.

A new addition to his look was a moustache.

Bushy and full, reaching further than the ends of his mouth and grown long enough to touch his lips, it was the most ridiculous thing Aziraphale had ever seen.

"I suppose you're just keeping with the times," she offered.

"Oh Angel, this isn't just the current style," Crowley drawled, lounging against the door. "It has a purpose, too."

"Really?" Aziraphale's eyebrows lifted curiously. Humans and their wonderful inventions. She always loved seeing what they'd come up with lately.

"It's a relationship assistance device." Nonchalantly, Crowley drew off his sunglasses and tucked them in a pocket. 

"A, a what?" Aziraphale puzzled. "How does it assist our relationship? What does it do?"

"I'll show you."

In one slinky motion Crowley levered himself off the door and stepped toward Aziraphale. Hands at her waist, he crowded her against a book display until they were inches apart and kissed her.

A bit taken aback but always willing to indulge in the pleasure of Crowley's touch, Aziraphale closed her eyes and leaned into him. A pleased sigh escaped her as a hot undulation of tongue found its way into her mouth. Crowley's hands wandered with practiced ease, the right sliding up to cup a breast and the left slithering around to squeeze her ample bottom. 

Wetness started to grow between Aziraphale's legs as Crowley began to grind his pelvis against her. Breaking the kiss and running a gentle hand down the feathered ends of her hairdo, he whispered in her ear, "now give me your knickers".

"Wh-what?"

Crowley stepped away and waited patiently.

Disoriented by the sudden withdrawal of touch and confused by the request, Aziraphale nevertheless did as she was asked. After a quick glance to ensure the "closed" sign was turned and the door locked, she balanced one hand of the display table while the other reached under her skirt and pulled her knickers down. Stepping out of them one high heel at a time she held them out to Crowley, blushing.

"This glorious moustache," Crowley explained, with no small hint of triumph in his voice, "is a relationship assistance device for when we're apart. When you're away it helps keep you near."

Crowley turned the knickers inside out to show Aziraphale. Near the front of the gusset were dried, white flecks that had formed from her corporation's normal wearing of the garment. Further back there was a large, wet spot from what they had been doing just a moment ago.

Crowley brought the knickers to his face and rubbed her dried scent into the bristles of his moustache, then polished the outer layer of hair with the juices of her arousal.

"Now I can walk around all day with a little angel under my nose."

He curled his bottom lip up and over the ends of his moustache hairs, pulling some moisture down into his mouth, which he emphasized with a loud smack of his lips.

"Delicious."

"Oh!" Aziraphale wiggled, scandalized and pleased.

Approaching the angel's suitcase, Crowley snapped a dozen pairs of knickers into his hand. The leather straps of Aziraphale's suitcase undid themselves so Crowley could stuff the extras inside.

"If you're gone a while I'll need more." He turned back and gave Aziraphale an arch look. "Feel free to send them through the post."

Bursting with delight, Aziraphale ducked her head to affect a modicum of bashfulness as she grasped her suitcase handle and made for the door.

"Like the moustache any better now, Angel?" Crowley asked, full of amusement.

Unable to hide her smile, Aziraphale paused with her hand on the door and looked back at him coquettishly through her eyelashes. 

"I'll get used to it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I knew I'd left this dangling but didn't think I'd do anything with it.
> 
> Well, here we are.

Crowley bolted awake with realization, eyes wide and fully serpentine.

He'd gone to bed that night totally smug that he'd played the smooth tempter, shocking and titillating the angel. 

He should have known Aziraphale, innocent exterior but really a bastard at heart, would out-do him.

Crowley replayed their parting earlier today in his mind.

Aziraphale had given him her dirty knickers, flirted a bit, then walked out the door _without putting anything on in their place._

Had she snapped herself into a new pair as soon as she'd left? Crowley knew he'd never find out. If he asked she'd just cast her eyes down and demur, "imagine whatever you like best, my dear".

Right. He could do that. As though _that_ wouldn't be the end of him.

Aziraphale, striding through the airport carrying that suitcase, stuffed full of knickers but not a single pair on her. Thighs sliding against each other with the wetness Crowley helped create. Right now, Aziraphale was sitting on a plane, a long trip ahead of her. Had she left the evidence of her arousal there to sit and thicken? Or had the need between her legs been too great, driving her to lock herself in the small airplane lavatory for privacy so she could furiously work her delicious flesh until she found relief?

Mouth dry, Crowley licked his lips and in the process tasted the essence of his angel on his moustache. That made things both better _and_ worse.

_Ngk._

Uncoiling slowly, Crowley lay back down and stared, unseeing, at the ceiling. He didn't sleep again the rest of the night and didn't blink. Even once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe putting Aziraphale's panties on his head would help?


End file.
